


Insecurities

by hedgehog_in_221B



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Body Image, F/M, Insecurity, Kissing, Self-Conscious, chubby!reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-20
Packaged: 2018-03-31 10:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3974143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedgehog_in_221B/pseuds/hedgehog_in_221B
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader becomes very insecure when she and Thranduil are having an intimate moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insecurities

   You'd always been on the heavier side. Even from a young age, you were a chubby little elfling. It never really bothered you until everyone else started thinning out and you stayed the same. You noticed the way everyone looked at you, how different the looks were now that you were older. You were supposed to look thin and pretty, like everyone else of your race. Sure, you were graceful like them, and you were fair of face. You could wield a weapon no problem and you were light on your feet. The only problem was that you were no where near as thin and delicate as the others. You knew they talked about you when you weren't around. You knew they said things about your body and it made you even more insecure. They'd never say anything to your face, that you knew, but that fact that you'd caught whispers in the halls and heard murmurs when they thought you weren't around only shattered your self confidence. It wasn't until Thranduil came along that you thought more highly of yourself. He made you feel better about your body, more than you had in a long time and the whispers all but ceased when everyone found out that the two of you were romantically involved. Of course, it was a long time until you could bring yourself to be more physical with him. Even a kiss had been out of the question at first. Now, not so much. You had been thinking about all those old feelings when there came a knock at your bedroom door. You sat up from your bed and quickly pulled a shawl around your shoulders before answering the door. As you peered out, you saw that it was none other than the Elvenking himself. “May I come in?” he asked in a hushed voice. You nodded and pulled the door open enough for him to get in before closing it noiselessly behind him. When you turned around, you were greeted warmly with a hug. You gasped softly as he pulled your to his chest, wrapping his arms around you. “I've been missing you all day,” he said, giving your head an affectionate kiss. You couldn't help the blush that began to spread over your cheeks in response to his sweet words.

   “And I, you,” you replied, burying your face in his chest. He chuckled and stroked your hair.

   “Have you?” he asked. You nodded, pulling from him to look up at his face.

   “Very much,” you said. He smiled even wider.

   “I'm glad to hear that.” You looked away, suddenly bashful. Thranduil chuckled again, his hand coming up to grasp your chin as he turned your face to him. He smiled sweetly at you before bending down to plant a gentle kiss to your lips. Your cheeks reddened even more, but you kissed him back, only letting your lips linger on his for a few seconds. When he straightened up, his face turned to one of mild concern as his hands shot up to feel your cheeks. “Are you feeling well, meleth nin? Your face is so warm.” You swatted his hands away and laughed.

   “I'm fine, I'm fine. Come, sit with me,” you said, taking his hand and leading him to the edge of your bed. You sat down and patted the spot beside you. He sat, taking your hands in his. “Were you awfully busy today?” you asked. He nodded, beginning to lightly stroke your hands with his thumbs.

   “Yes, I had much to attend to. It wouldn't have been so bad had you been by my side.” You both chuckled and you blushed again.

   “I would only have slowed you down. You know I don't know a thing about politics and kingly duties,” you replied, looking down at your hands in his.

   “That would have made no difference. Coincidentally, there was redecorating to be done in preparation of the upcoming festivities. I was stuck choosing new tapestries in various festive colors. Not to mention there were the wine and dinner preparations that had to be made. Really, it was a tiring affair. You know, many elves from Imladris and Lothlorien will be in attendance. Maybe you'll find a new suitor?” You looked up at him in mild shock, your mouth open wide.

   “Don't say such horrid things! You know I care for you and only you. Besides, it's unlikely that any of these guests would even find me desirable,” you said with a sigh.

   “Now you mustn't say horrid things either. Of course they would find you desirable! For their sakes', I hope they don't voice it, because I can become rather territorial and possessive. I don't think they'd like to see me when they toy with something that belongs to me,” he replied, bringing your hands to his lips.

   “I don't belong to anyone. You of all people should know that.” Thranduil laughed.

   “Yes, how could I forget? You belong to the wild wilderness of the Greenwood! A true she-elf of nature!” You laughed as well.

   “You are absolutely awful tonight!” you said in a playful tone.

   “And you are absolutely wonderful,” he replied, his voice sincere. For a few moments, all you did was look at each other. You could hear your heartbeat pounding away in your chest and suddenly, his lips were upon you. He held your face in his hands as he kissed you, his lips soft against yours. You closed your eyes and savored the sensation, taking it all in. Your hands rested on his chest and you could feel his heart racing as well. It made your heart sing and you practically dove into the kiss, enveloping yourself in his love. You could hardly breath as he pushed you down onto the bed, his lips never leaving yours. He stayed atop you, his kisses migrating to your jaw and neck. Your heart was aflutter in your chest and there was nothing you could do to stop the deep blush that appeared on your cheeks. One of his hands left your cheek to grasp at your waist, pulling you to him. Your arms wrapped around his neck as he kissed you. You felt lightheaded as your breath came in gasps. Where had all the air in the room gone? Suddenly, you felt his hands go lower, to your hips, and you froze. You stopped breathing all together and your mind was racing. What was he doing?

   “Stop!” you exclaimed in a breathless voice, pushing him away. He immediately stopped and let go of you, falling back onto his knees. You scooted away from him, your breath still coming in short bursts as your chest rose and fell rapidly. You clutched at the collar of your nightdress, feeling your heart racing underneath your skin. You stared at him, your eyes wide. His eyes were on you as he, too, struggled to regain his breath, his hair a mess and his clothes slightly rumpled. “I'm sorry...” you said in a small voice, looking away from him.

   “No, please, don't apologize. It was too much, too fast. I...I didn't mean to force myself on you,” he said, looking ashamed. You looked up at him, your eyes alarmed.

   “You didn't! Please don't think that you did! I....it's not that I don't want to! Please understand,” you said, reaching out for him. He crawled toward you and wrapped you in his arms.

   “I do understand. When you kissed me as you did, I misread that as something else. I thought....I thought you wanted me to make love to you. I was so caught up in that notion, that I didn't think to ask if that's what you really wanted. I'm sorry. That was careless of me.” You pulled from him and looked up into his face.

   “I did want you to. I do want you to. It's just....just...” you trailed off, ashamed of yourself and of your silly insecurities.

   “Whatever you have to say, I will listen,” he replied. You took a deep breath.

   “I'm not ready for you to see me like that. You're so beautiful and I'm the exact opposite. I'm not ready for someone I care so much about to see me in such a vulnerable way. I'm afraid that if you see me like that, you won't love me anymore and I don't want to lose you because of this,” you said, gesturing to your body. You could feel tears welling up in your eyes and you cursed yourself for getting emotional over your stupid body imagine issues. Thranduil embraced you tightly, hugging you to his chest. You buried your face against him, trying desperately not to cry.

   “You have nothing to fear, meleth nin. I am not so proud as to toss you aside because of your supposed 'imperfections'. You are beautiful, whether or not you or anyone else can see it. But I did not choose you because of your appearance. I chose you because of your kindness, your humor, your intellect, and your heart. I chose you for you. Please believe me when I say that. I would have loved you regardless of what you looked like.” You couldn't help the flood of tears that came forth from your eyes as he held you, rubbing your back soothingly. The two of you stayed like that for some time until you finally calmed down, wiping the remnants of tears from your sore eyes. Thranduil leaned forward and planted a loving kiss to your forehead. “It's getting late. I should be going,” he said, rising from the bed. You reached out your hand, grabbing his wrist.

   “Thranduil...” you said in a soft voice. He turned back and looked at you. “Please stay with me tonight.” The smile that graced his lips could have outshone the sun.

   “Of course, meleth nin.” He blew out the lamp at the side of your bed and snuggled under the blankets, pulling you close to him and wrapping his arms about you. “I love you,” he said into your hair, kissing the back of your head. You shifted in his arms so that you were face to face with him.

   “I love you,” you replied, placing a soft to his lips. He cupped your face in his hand and kissed you back, smiling against your lips.

 


End file.
